Birds listen to Radio 4.  Fact.  Surveys indicate that birds hang around the gardens of Radio 4 listeners more than the listeners of other radio stations.  This is because birds are big fans.  Sceptics of my theory claim that Radio 4 listeners are more likely to put out bird seed than, say, Ken Bruce fans.  I think this is rubbish.   KEN Bruce fans are perfectly normal bird lovers, but birds don’t like Pop Master.  Try taking a radio into the garden with you and see if any birds join you in listening to Gardener’s Question Time.

Arrested by Woman’s Hour

Furious with The Today Programme

Lost in The Shipping Forecast

Exhausted by The Archers

Baffled by In Our Time

Longing to live in Ambridge

Wiser than Gardener’s Question Time

Longing to live in Ambridge