Birds listen to Radio 4.  Fact.  Surveys indicate that birds hang around the gardens of Radio 4 listeners more than the listeners of other radio stations.  This is because birds are big fans.  Sceptics of my theory claim that Radio 4 listeners are more likely to put out bird seed than, say, Ken Bruce fans.  I think this is rubbish.   Ken Bruce fans are perfectly normal bird lovers, but birds don’t like Pop Master.  Try taking a radio into the garden with you and see if any birds join you in listening to Gardener’s Question Time.  They don’t like John Humprhis, by the way.